It's been 12 days since we split... I hate how we left things. I've known you for the last seven years of my life. I can't believe you used the word "HATE" while talking to me. I can't believe you said that you HATE me. It doesn't matter now, but I feel utterly disrespected as a human being. I don't care how mad I would've EVER gotten; how upset you would've EVER made me... I NEVER EVER would've told you that i HATE you. because I don't hate you. I love you, and to a certain extent, I'm sure that I always will. But what is there to say at this point? Is there even anything to say at this point? I wish that you never would've said that. Because I want so badly to call you right now. But how could I possibly bring myself to call you? You are only the second person in my LIFE to ever say that they hate me. I still can't believe that YOU, of all people, said that to me. After everything. Everything, Sam.
How can you hate me, when the only thing that I feel for you is love? We were supposed to get married, and I was so excited to be planning the wedding. Hate? You were the first woman that I ever truly fell in love with. My only best-friend and lover all rolled into one. You actually said that you hate me. Why did you even bother telling me to trust you? I've never lied to you. Never been anything but open and honest, and understanding with you. It still feels surreal. Like it wasn't even you that said it. But I know it was. The woman that I was going to spend forever with, told me that she hates me. I just knew in my soul that that word would NEVER come from you in any sort of malicious manner when talking to me. You blew my mind. You set out to hurt me like never before. You succeeded.
When I told you that I love you like I've never loved anyone else, I meant that. And I still do. I can't believe that you hate me. My Wife hates me. And all I can say is that I love her. From the purest place in my soul, I love her.
You're the only woman to ever break my heart. To make my soul cry.
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