Today I watched a show called “Teen Mom” for the first time.
Although I, myself, am not a teen mother, I found myself very moved by the
show, and also very grateful to experience it. I believe that everything
happens for a reason, and with that being said, I was meant to watch this show.
At ten weeks and two days pregnant, I became a single
mother. That night changed my life. From the moment that I found out I was
pregnant, I knew that my life would never be the same. I also “knew” that I
would never be a single parent. I was 100% correct about the former, and 200%
incorrect about the latter.
From the moment that I became a single mother,
instinctively, I went into survival mode. I needed to do what was best for
myself, but more importantly, for my unborn baby. I made plans to move back
home within two weeks. I knew that if I could just get back home to my family
and hometown, that everything else would fall into place. I flew back home July
2nd, 2011.
November 14th, 2011, I realized that the best
decision that I could truly make for both my baby and myself is to simply
become a solo parent. If someone would’ve asked me on the day that I learned I
was pregnant, if I saw myself being a solo parent, I would have laughed and
responded with a very confident, “Hell no!” It’s funny how time changes your
views on things. What is the point of being pregnant, dealing with all of the
stresses that pregnancy itself brings, and also dealing with the stress of
trying to work things out with someone that doesn’t seem to have mine or my
child’s best interests at heart? There is absolutely no point in that. Nothing
good will come from that. Nothing healthy can come from that.
Is it easy? I can’t answer that question with just one word.
Emotionally, it isn’t easy, but knowing that it is the healthiest decision,
makes it easier to deal with on a daily basis.
I believe that a child’s father should want to do everything in his
power to help prepare for his unborn baby’s arrival into this world, regardless
of whether or not he and the child’s mother live in the same state. For
instance, if there is a baby registry available, I don’t believe that the
mother should have to ask him to buy things for the baby, especially once he makes
it a point to request any and all information regarding what she needs for the
baby. If she makes this readily available to him, there is no reason why he
should not provide for the baby. He should not leave the responsibility up to
her family. However, if he would rather not provide, then he should not fill
her head with false hopes of him helping relieve some of the financial burden.
He should not argue with her about her not believing that he will help, if in
fact he won’t help. No pregnant woman should be arguing. Especially over taking
care of her unborn baby, when she hasn’t asked the father to help, but in fact
he made a big to-do about being included. It isn’t fair. It borders on
harassment.
Currently, I am 31 weeks and two days pregnant. That
translates to seven months, three weeks, and two days pregnant. It is not in my
baby’s best interest, nor mine to maintain contact with someone who seems like
he’s more interested in arguing with me, than helping me get ready for the
baby’s arrival. And to be perfectly honest, if he just wants to wait until the baby
is born before he does anything, than I’d rather him do nothing at all. He has
done nothing to help with this pregnancy thus far, and therefore I see no
reason to expect him to do anything later.
I can’t be the best possible mother to this baby if I
continue to entertain his bullshit. Therefore, I count my blessings before the
Lord, give myself and my baby to Him, and consider myself the blessed solo parent
of an amazing baby that will be here sooner than later.
If I had to choose between being a single parent, and a solo
parent, I choose the latter with no hesitation. We will be much happier this
way.
Thank God for my wonderful baby.
No comments:
Post a Comment